I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the beautiful state of reemergence that i am currently experiencing and to express my gratitude to those who have stood strong with me throughout my healing path.
Those that are closest to me know that the last few years of my life have been full of drastic changes, challenges, transitions and mixed emotions, accumulating into what feels like an everlasting struggle... It has been hard for me to find a balance within myself. But my goal has always been to find an honorable path to walk towards becoming the master of my own life so that I may be of good service to my family and community. In this way reaching my maximum potential. So throughout the good and bad, i have done my best to stay focused and walking towards "the light at the end of the tunnel".
I feel like finally i am exiting that dark tunnel i found myself walking in for some time and now not only do i see the light but i am becoming one with it...
These past 2-3 years have been some of the hardest times in my life. I've had to fight for my autonomy and it's a daily battle to maintain it. I've had to rebuild my life from 0; in between hustles and unsatisfying and unstable jobs, sometimes, most often than not going hungry just to be able to give my daughter a full meal and make sure she lacks for nothing. This is a sacrifice many parents can relate to. And anybody who has ever separated from a relationship of partnership and has broken away from what used to be a family unit (divorce/brake up with kids involved) knows just how hard it is to rebuild yourself and establish stable routines again to gain control of "a new way of life" and become solid and whole within the self again.
I've had emotional and physical breakdowns. I've been exploited for my skills and labor. I've been disrespected. I've been broke and on the verge of depression. The only thing that has kept me from sinking is the love my daughter has for me, her smile, dreams, imagination, intellect and silliness.. Which reminds me that i am needed in this life and i am needed at my best in order to create a fruitful future for us. Regardless of the adversities that may present themselves along the way.
Finally, i would like to share that i recently reached my breaking point in many levels. I reached out to my closest friends and family and spoke up about the issues i had been facing for so long. With their help and love, i became strong enough to find truth within myself and discovered that the person i always knew i would become has been reaching out to me from the depths of my heart and my most high subconscious.
I discovered my calling to walk the healer's path and with the help of some very special and strong sisters, i have learned to believe in myself and stepped into my power.
I have stood before those who have disrespected me and questioned my honor the most and made the statement that i am not a doormat or a victim or a puppet. I AM A HUMAN BEING!
I am a human being with flaws and qualities. I have a clear vision for my future and a sense of direction. I am a valuable member of the community with lots to offer and nothing to lose but fear and insecurities. I am a dedicated mother and sister and I WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO QUESTION THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF MY INTENTIONS BECAUSE I AM ONE WITH MYSELF and i am willing to be held accountable by those who are also honorable and have been there for me through my life journey.
With this said,i would like to thank my SISTERS: You have shown me the meaning of friendship, family and sisterhood. You have been an example of what it's like to walk in beauty and confidence. You motivate me to follow my path without fear and the importance of self love. I will forever be thankful for all you have done for me and i hope to one day be able to support you as you have supported me.
To my BROTHERS:
Thank you for treating me with respect and honor and lending an ear to hear a sister out. Thank you for showing support in my struggle and for providing the type of protection only strong brothers can provide. Your protection lets me know I'm not alone. To know that i can count on you is a blessing that words cannot describe. I want you to know that i am honored to know all of you strong brothers and that it's amazing to see that there are still REAL MEN out here who will stand up and speak up when one voice is not enough to make a statement that ABUSE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! I want you to know you can count on me. I give you my word that i will always treat you all with the honor and respect that you deserve as men and i will protect your integrity as you have protected mine...
To all my relations:
I have missed you dearly. This journey is hard and I've had some dark times. But I want you to know that you are all dear to me. The love and respect you have shown me is a debt of honor that i can never repay. I can only do my best to let you know that you are important to me. Even if i was in the shadows for a while, even if you didn't hear much from me in the last couple of years, i always think of you and i am thankful to the UniVerse for your friendship.
To the UniVerse within me:
I am here!!
I am strong because I am strength.
I am whole because there's no other me.
I radiate love because I AM LOVE. This new stage of my life is amazing and full of possibilities. I am ready for everyday knowing there's no greater force than will power and i will not submit to evil and fear.
Thank you, Creation! For life and the ability to experience it to the fullest.
I am Zipaktli XLahun. Crocodile 13.. The first and the last. One even without number two. I am here to let my work speak for myself and to lend a hand to those who need it...
Much love and gratitude to one and all!!!
See you in the next level of the spiral. Aho!
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