"Heart Of Agave"

Circumstantial life forces me to be cold.

My energy I must guard, my heart I must protect.

I have come to unveil: my instinct is to provide for one and all.

But in this world not everybody's gentle, not everybody loves.

Some individuals do not yield what it takes to build.

Some have no concept of foundation.

Those that do not know balance of self; all they can ever do is hurt.

So like an agave in maturity, my sweetness I defend.

Needle after needle. 

Spike after spike. 

Life is truly all I have.

My essence must survive.

Author Unknown. If you know the artist, please share the name in a comment.
TLAZOKAMATLI MAYAHUEL

Children's Temper Tantrums and Creating an Emotional and Mental Thread.

  Talking to a parent ally a few days ago, we came across the topic of dealing with children's temper tantrums and the things we can do as adults to help kids understand their own emotional outbursts. We talked about different ways that we have seen adults deal with this issue. Some walk away and do not address the issue with their child simply allowing the child to "cool off" on their own terms and time and once the child is ready he or she can resume normal activity with those present. Others try their very best to appease their children and go above and beyond to find a comfort measure that will bring happiness to the child again. Some others do a combination of both.

Digging deeper into the subject we came to asking the question: What is the most important thing that a child should learn when experiencing a tantrum?

This question brought me back a memory of an experience I had with my 5 year old daughter when she was 4. I can't remember the question she posed upon me, I just remember that it was a tough question for a 4 year old to ask and I had to answer somehow.
Honestly, I remember I gave her kind of a BS answer thinking the explanation was just too complicated for her to understand and that maybe if I gave her a half way answer, that would be enough for her.
What a lesson I learned that day!!!
She recited back the answer I gave her almost verbatim, but she had an air of doubt in her words as if I could almost hear her telling me "You mean to tell me this shit and expect me to be satisfied?!!"
When she finally finished reciting back my quack explanation she said: "That's kind of weird, like it doesn't make sense.".
I was shocked, looking at myself through the smoking mirror knowing my daughter didn't deserve a half way truth.
So I sat down next to her on the couch where she was peacefully playing with a toy and forced my self to find the best words to clearly deliver to her the answer she was looking for and deserved.

That day I learned that my child can comprehend great knowledge and reason as long as it is the simple and honest truth. She is creating a data base of information within her whole being. Like a computer program or any process, her questions, thought creation and conclusions have a beginning and an end.
She had a very real and important question in mind and she was creating a thread of information in order to understand they "why" behind an issue and come to her own understanding of it. It would be a disservice to her for me not to give her the right information.

How we applied this lesson to finding ways to deal with temper tantrums was that no matter what the child is fussing about, a child should be aware of the internal and external process that is arising within them.

For example:

• A group of children are playing a game. One of them wants to play something else, but everyone else is still having fun playing the current game. The child that wants to play something else becomes upset and begins to walk away from the group of children. The child now is communicating that is mad because the game will not be changed. The child is crying and yelling. What can we do?
• Various suggestions were made, these are some important points:
• Ask the child what she/he wants to play and why.
• Explain to the child that the other kids want to have fun with her/him and that they can try to play the game suggested later.
• If the child wants to play another game, encourage him/her to take a time out or water break with the kids and use that opportunity to suggest other games to play and come to an agreement TOGETHER.
• Explain to the child that it's ok to take a moment alone and consider all the options suggested.
• Remind the child that she/he is loved.
• Explain that even though she/he might be upset now, she will feel better in time and once she/he is ready a space for dialogue will be made available to them.
• Paint a picture for them from start to finish. Recollecting the events that led to the tantrum and brainstorm together as to what can be done to create happiness again.

I love my daughter and I appreciate her and all the things we have learned together. Helping her understand herself forces me to pause and think critically about the lessons that I am passing down to her, because now I understand the mental and emotional imprint that I am creating within her reality. As a parent, it is my loving duty to help her find the best coping methods and paths to finding emotional clarity and peace of mind.

Here's to you, parents and allies! Thank you for your love and efforts. Together we can create a great future for generations to come...

"Perspectives" blog series 2015

International M.A.P. - Lyricism in Pop Music by Roxy ELRey

 

I look around and I ask myself, “Am I crazy or am I the only mother that thinks this is inappropriate?” I am not a square and I don’t preach religion. I promise. However, I refuse to allow my children to fall victim and watch countless hours of TV or listen to the senseless “music” of today.

While I know that I can’t prevent my kids from being exposed to certain things during the time they are away at school; I work very hard at home to educate and raise two beautiful mindful boys. My oldest boy is seven years old and should not be singing along to “going up on a Tuesday”. If you are anything like me, you can already imagine my reaction.

This brings me to my next point which is about public education and what our children are learning at school. To keep my son busy and active during the summer break I enrolled him in the L.A.’s Best summer program. Here we are as parents trusting that the school district has good judgment and hires competent individuals to care for our children. I arrive to pick up my son and walk into all the kids in the summer program dancing and singing along to the “Nae Nae” song. I am sure you’ve all heard this ridiculous tune. Here are a few lyrics:

Now watch me whip (kill it!)

Now watch me nae nae (okay!)

Now watch me whip whip

Watch me nae nae (want me do it?)

The first question one may ask is “what on earth is nae nae?” As a mindful parent that questions the subliminal message behind every pop or rap song, I found that Nae Nae is actually a person. This person is a female character named Sheneneh Jenkings on the famous 90’s sitcom Martin. Ms. Jenkings is the best person to describe the meaning behind the song. A ghetto, promiscuous, unattractive hot mess dancing like a fool. So basically, my child was singing “watch me foolishly dance like a trashy whore”.

On a second occasion my son’s father walked into the kids listening to “Trap Queen”. Some lyrics are as follows:

Married to the money, introduced her to my stove
Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low
She my trap queen, let her hit the bando
We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go
We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos
A 50, 60 grand, prob' a hundred grams though
Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole
Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go
Everybody hating, we just call them fans though
In love with the money, I ain't ever letting go

This needs no translation as it is very literal. “What is wrong with the youth of today?” many ask. I say music plays a great influence. Most pop or rap songs consist of drugs, sex, money and shaming of women. If you pay close attention these songs are becoming our reality. This is the plan of course. No zombie apocalypse needed. We are the zombie apocalypse. We walk around blinded and ignorant to what really matters. Remember the more we know the bigger of a threat we are to those in position of power. Everything around us has been created to keep us ignorant and blind.

As parents we need to stand strong and create a solid foundation for our kids. Education starts at home. These days you see parents and children in the same room staring down at a screen and not engaging in something as simple as a conversation. As parents we should be playing, creating, talking and reading to our kids.

As I mentioned before I work very hard toward mindful education for my kids. This includes activities such as art therapy, crafts, meditation, yoga, board games, reading but most importantly communication. We can’t allow our children to learn from music or other inapt sources. We must decolonize play time and the classrooms for the future of our children and their children.

I am a mother and I am against pop music and what it is teaching our children. Are you?

By Roxy ElRey

 

The path back to Martial Arts and discovering UniVersal Connections...

"Sharpen your wisdom, distinguish principle and its opposite in the world, learn the good and bad of all things, experience all the arts and accomplishments and their various Ways, and act in a way so that you will not be taken in by anyone. This is the heart of the wisdom of the martial arts."
-Miyamoto Musashi, The Book of Five Rings; The Water Chapter, 'The Frame of Mind For The Martial Art."

   Martial Arts is sacred to me. Through it's practice I have come to know one of the deepest parts of my true self. It is a realm in which no excuse is valid since it demands discipline, sensitivity, focus and heart.

   My connection to Martial Arts started stretching it's roots when I discovered and began practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ), but in reality my link to these ways are much more ancient. Even though it took me a long time to realize this...

Wrestler Stone Statue. Olmec.



I remember learning about BJJ and beginning to try some moves out with family and friends who were interested in knowing more about the art but had no means of practicing at a formal academy for different reasons, mostly economic. We would watch instructional videos and practice at home.  I remember the exciting anxiety of knowing the power of the lessons and techniques. I also remember the beginning stages of practice and the enraging discomfort of having another individual so close to my personal space and having to overcome this obstacle. Since I was usually one of the few or the only female during rolling sessions and I had to spar with males, I woke a savage desire to learn how to truly protect my self.

Shortly after the beginning stages of becoming familiar with BJJ, I became pregnant. My friends and family kept practicing while I kept trying to mentally analyze techniques and learn through the observation of others. I watched UFC events and documentaries on Martial Artists once in a while. Learning different perspectives of the term.

                                                          Some of my inspirations:

Rickson Gracie

Kyra Gracie

Cain VS. Big Foot

About a year after I gave birth to my daughter, I slowly started practicing again. By the time my daughter was about  2 years old, the passion for BJJ had spread throughout my family and community and most people I knew were practicing the art with their families and some even moved on to joining academies. I was a member of a community group that practiced weekly and even though I missed sessions due to my responsibility to my daughter and job, I still kept falling in love with the art. While I was a member I learned some boxing and wrestling techniques as well that added depth to my love for self defense. By the time my daughter was about to turn 4 years old, I found my self training a few times a week and my life revolved around practice. However, there were some personal issues that I was facing. Physical injuries for lack of care to my body, a final separation from the father of my child and the overall turmoil of the mind that these types of situations create.

Sharing some basics with the youth at a community space.

I would train to be around people I appreciated and to create an escape, but I could not move forward.
I couldn't listen to direction. I felt lack of focus during sessions. I couldn't remember the most basic warm up routines. All this made me feel low about myself, but I kept trying, only getting worse as my personal life was so off balance. Finally, I heard the voice in my head telling me it was time to step off the mat for a while. I didn't want to, but I had to. I felt like the aspirations I had to learn the art been compromised. Like I had let a part of me go. But my mind was shaky and I couldn't learn anything new. My body was being damaged from trying to push hard. I couldn't use my hips since they had not healed in strength properly after childbirth. A 10 year old motorcycle accident injury on my left leg was bothering me again and my sciatic nerve damage pain gave me very little rest, day or night. I was under overwhelming stress.
I finally retreated.

I settled into a new home, with new routines and energy. Letting go of all the things that were damaging me. Accepting my new reality, I began to nurture myself again.
Creating the best environment I could for my daughter and me, I became more stress-free and the skies in my mind began to clear. I became more in tune with my body, started being hungry for the right things again. I was able to see my self with out fear and once this happened, I became free again.

Accepting the fact that I was hurt and needed care was not easy. I was used to pushing and driving powered by instinct and duty, to slow down has been a challenging but beautiful process. Having to make time to nurture my self and my health has revealed amazing teachings. The body is a natural machine and it's nature is to provide and protect itself. But there is the Universal law of natural process. All trees were once seeds. To protect our families and planet, we must be able to protect ourselves first. Time must pass and events must arise in natural order.

Shinmen Musashi, 'The Rhythm of Martial Arts'; Twelfth Day of the Fifth Month, Second Year of Shoho



Through the love and presence of my daughter, I have learned to be humble and patient. My duty
towards her forces me to think critically in order to find the best example I can give her by being the best that I can be. My love for life and our planet have made me conscious about the importance of eating healthy, balanced and in gratitude.
To nurture my physical temple and strengthen its foundation I now practice breathing techniques to align the body and chakras in a meditative state through the gravitational and magnetic pull, moderate weight training and yoga, occasionally swimming and various cardio exercises alternated throughout the week and an occasional rolling session just to maintain the sensitivity needed to practice BJJ. I also find that learning Martial Arts thought and culture greatly increases my perspectives of life. Teaching me how to manage through the hardest situations and purifying the struggle within to find one's own light and victory.

Light and darkness understood through Tezcatlipoca principles.

This personal growth process has led me to connect with my internal warrior. Like Tezcatlipoca, it forces me to see what I am truly made of, who I really am. Do I have the integrity to maintain discipline and overcome adversity? How do I overcome the tricks of my own mind and those of others? Only through knowledge of self.  Only through walking the path and facing challenges as they come, always doing my best to use critical thinking in decision making.
By learning and loving to flow with the push and pull of life.
By listening to breath, movement, intention and purpose.
By becoming one with my environment, the cosmos, and the UniVerse of my self.
In this way I become absolute and happy.

Tezcatlipoca - Smoking Mirror

My goal is to nurture my self until I am strong enough to move to the next level of learning to protect my self and family and some day go back to practicing BJJ consistently.

The Shaolin harvest energy and inspiration from nature, their culture and commitment. The teachings of Buddha and the presence of the spirits of ancient and present masters in their Temple are a testament to beauty and strength produced by discipline and understanding and practicing righteous principles. Understanding the relationship between all things and finding our place under the Sun is a sacred experience.

Shaolin Monks

I harvest inspiration from the planet, cosmos, and my ancestry. I think of the Maya Temples, our halls, our art, culture, our warrior columns and ceremonial sites. It's because of my ancestors that I am alive. I am a new seed of the survivors of the MesoAmerican Indigenous Genocide.
To protect life is instinctual to me. A natural martial art. It's like an embedded code that runs through me.

Acknowledging my weaknesses, building towards humble strength. I look forward to the day I can look in the mirror and see the result of my sacrifice.
The simple realization of knowing that balance is not a choice, but a requirement for prosperity is a treasure in its own right.
Understanding the bond between all our inner and outer existence is only the beginning.
There are many paths to take in life. I am thankful to have found mine... Becoming the master of my own universe.

Shinmen Musashi, 'The Rhythm of Martial Arts'; Twelfth Day of the Fifth Month, Second Year of Shoho

"Perspectives" Blog Series 2015



My journey towards Childbirth Education and GoFundMe Link

Donate to GoFundMe Campaign

Greetings, friends and family! Thank you for taking the time to visit and hearing my humble call for support. 

I am very happy to announce that I am beginning a journey in the field of Childbirth Education!

Here is my story:

I am a proud mother to a 5 year-old daughter. About a year before I gave birth to her, I began to hear a calling for support among women of all ages, but especially among young mothers. Ever since then I have been able to become part of a few community and family support groups that have opened my eyes to the many needs of families which are also my own. 

Through my journey of motherhood and sisterhood, I have experienced many lessons that have shaped me. I believe one of the most important lessons I have learned is the importance of easy access to support, comprehensive knowledge and compassion when it comes to pregnancy, the shaping of families and the upbringing of children. 

Throughout my pregnancy I had some very negative experiences with healthcare providers such as nursing staff, doctors and counselors due to various reasons. The biggest issues I had with them was their lack of respect for my Native American Traditional belief system and natural medicine preferences, their lack of belief in me that I would be able to have an unmedicated natural birth and their impersonal treatment towards me whenever I had a question in regards to anything, honestly. 

I also had some negative experiences when I delivered my babygirl. The nursing staff seemed to be amused by my determination to have a natural birth and whispered behind my family and doula’s presence in regards to our Maya identity and preferences for natural methods.

When one of the nurses was informed that I would not be accepting any medications during my labor and delivery she dared to say: “Oh, they ALL say that! You will want the drugs when the time comes!”

With the help of a great support system, I was able to have a healthy unmedicated vaginal birth and I never doubted that I would be able to do so! I had a good support system by my side in this experience reassuring me that in spite of the adversities and discomforts, I had everything I needed to birth with dignity; even though some circumstances were not ideal or how I pictured my birth. It was this support system that made the difference during my labor and delivery of my daughter. This is what I would like to provide to families and allies. 

As a Childbirth Educator, Doula and perhaps Midwife someday, I will provide compassionate care and comprehensive information to those who seek my services by providing a space that is free of negativity and fully embracive of  beautiful possibilities.  I will link families with accurate and helpful information to guide them in creating personalized birth plans and guides for caring for their newborns and toddlers. 

As a mother figure to a 10 year old stepson and member of a multicultural family, I understand that families can be very diverse and how important it is to not only respect but also embrace the spiritual and cultural beliefs of others while respecting and upholding my own. It is my goal to provide communities with links and information that are relevant to family health, intergenerational communication, positive reinforcement, gentle parenting, and emotional and spiritual support to all members of the family and community.

This is why I am asking for support. By raising $1,100 I can cover some of the cost of certification fees, books and childcare that is needed for me to achieve my goal of becoming a Certified Childbirth Educator.  

Achieving my goal will enable me to be a better provider and caregiver for my daughter and will allow me to be a positive source of support for my family and community. 

My biggest role in life is to be a mother to my children. Someday they may choose to be parents and I would love to share and guide them through that journey. My life next to them has taught me that all stages in life are very important but the first stages are crucial to the development of a child and a family. The foundation of our lives should be empowering self-love and acceptance and peace of mind through knowledge and our actions. Time is sacred and essential, I would love give back to the community by helping to create a beautiful start to children’s lives and by being the best that I can be for my  family and friends.

Thank you for your time and love. I appreciate the support beyond anything I can express. 

Love and Gratitude always. 

My GoFundMe Profile

My NaturALL WOMBan Pledge and Affirmation...

I realize all life forms are sacred.

In the UniVerse, on Earth.

In the jungles and the suburbs.

I pledge to love my self. 

I look at my self and observe the face of my eldest great grandmother.

My hair is dark and magnetic. 

My eyes are brown and deep. 

My skin like a papyrus tells the story of my life through glyph and tattoos.

I pledge to love my self.

I will not change the color of my hair unless nature and time decides to do so. 

My hands that work the land and nurture my tribe and family will be clean and with out silicone or whatever fake nails are made of...

I don't even know. 

All I'm certain of is that a galaxy lives in my eyes. 

And for this I appreciate my self.

My body. Bones and Blood. My intellect. My perception and journey.

I must do my best to nurture every day. 

I am a perfect natural machine. 

I respect all life on Earth.

I am an everlasting student, mastering my time, space and energy.

I am a natural womban. 

All Natural.

 With my womb I split the atom.

I bring forth new life raising care givers for the planet. 

I protect the fire, land and stones

through ceremony and war. 

I like every grain of sand in the desert become inmense when connected to my surroundings. 

Life is precious. 

My love for my people, culture and land runs through me at a molecular level.

I am a naturALL WOMBan. 

I pledge to love my self and all the things that dwell on Earth. 

Decolonizing Playtime and Exploring Different Perspectives At Home.

As a  mother of a 5 year old daughter I have been made aware of the overwhelming amount of "Princess" merchandise that is out in the market targeting young girls. Though I understand that the "princess" themed merchandise appeals to the inner nobility and queen-like nature of our little girls, I do believe that it is a limiting concept and misrepresentation of all the wonderful things that our children are. For those who are of Native American/Indigenous backgrounds, the effects of these mainstream images and concepts are even more complex. Aware of these issues, I have decided that I want my child to enjoy her youth but to also learn how to exercise her mind, spark her curiosity  and to seek possibilities of progress and creation while honoring our culture. 

Here is a small home project we did together to expand the possibilities of a toy she was gifted at her preschool's christmas event last year, We hope you enjoy this and that it gives you ideas for personalizing your toys at home. :)

We stated with this Disney Princesses tracing light table with moving vinyl strips made to mix and match princesses and dresses. 

We found the center of the vinyl strips and cut along the middle to remove them from the light table. 

We picked an old magazine and found our modge podge and brush...

... and selected a few images from an article and ads.

Using the modge podge and brush, we glued the cut outs on the frame of the light table. (I only used a few since I did not want her to feel like her space had been invaded or make it unfamiliar to her).

Then we picked a cutout of some artwork we printed from the internet.

We used tape to secure the image on the light table. For tracing, we thought it would be fun to try Japanese calligraphy paper and use ink stone and brush for tracing.

Here's a close up of a Japanese calligraphy brush and the calligraphy paper secured with tape on the tracing table. 

This is the ink stone. 

She started by tracing the head and the nose of the buffalo...

Then she thought her drawing would look nicer if she used color paint instead...

She called it " The Rainbow Tatanka".

My daughter's creativity never ceases to amaze me. The focus and attention she pays to her art just makes me smile and warms my heart to see such dedication from such a little human. Her soul sets an example for me to follow of how to put my all into what I do and set the best intentions...

We kept the vinyl cut outs, so that she has the choice to trace princesses and dresses if she wants to, but it is great to know that she is learning she can create amazing things when she is given a safe space to create and explore different perspectives...

Love and blessings to all the families of Earth!!

"perspectives" blog series 2015.